Border Patrol: We will stop all illegal Mexican Squirrels

Submitted by amilh on Fri, 2008-07-25 15:28.

SAN DIEGO, CA - The U.S. Customs and Border Protection stepped up their fight against illegal immigration by targeting illegal animal immigration.

Ralph Baaham, Commissioner of the US Customs and Border Protection related his concerns, "Over six million illegal immigrants evade our immigration and inspectors at the border each year. We have however been ignoring an even greater number of animals who illegally enter our border who number in the tens of millions. This negligence to stop illegal animals invading our country will now stop. The CBP will immediately institute a three tier policy to seriously crack down on the illegal animal immigration."

Activists asking for tighter restrictions on animal immigration for years feel vindicated by the recent developments. Jonah Spencer with the League to Defend American Animals issued a press release indicating, "For too long illegal Mexican squirrels have been taking good American nuts from hard working American squirrels. I hope to see a day when no Mexican pigeon will be able to invade our country and take prime statue real estate from God fearing American pigeons. This is a good day to be an American animal!"

Experts estimate that over twenty million illegal animals enter the US each year. "We've seen a huge spike recently in the rate of Mexican squirrels and chicken, primarily due to the rising cost of nuts in Mexico. These animals travel miles over harsh terrain to eat American cashews and Almonds."

Lou Dobbs has been noted to approve the measure, requesting even harsher restrictions be placed to ensure illegal animal babies be deported and then castrated so they don't reproduce.