Top 3 movies Stallone should remake

Submitted by amilh on Mon, 2008-02-18 22:38.

With Stallone making bank on remakes of Rambo and Rocky, Hollywood is twittering with the possibility of resurrecting other classic Stallone hits.

1. Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot

Stallone is a tough as nails detective whose mother (Estelle Getty) comes to visit and begins to meddle in his career and life! Hilarity ensues.

In the remake Sgt. Joe Bornowski (Stallone) is now a single 65 year old bachelor determined to make a final stab at love. He meets the girl of his dreams but look out, the ghost of his dead mother comes back from the grave because she doesn't want her son to love anyone else. Why? Who cares, ghosts causing mischief are hilarious! In one scene we see Stallone involved in a heavy petting scene with his girlfriend, when uh oh a CGI Estelle Getty dressed in a negligee appears and says what becomes her catch line in the movie, "Now THIS is a party!" Hilarity ensues.

2. Demolition Man
Stallone goes way out of character in this futuristic movie as a tough as nails cop who is brought out of suspended animation to pursue a psychotic criminal loose in a nonviolent future world.

In the movie we learn that sex performed virtually, in the remake the world is now obsessed with having sex with robots. Robot sex becomes so rampant a hybrid robot/human is born, but it has a penchant for killing people. In an attempt to solve the problem scientists bring back Cuba Gooding Jr's gay character from Boat Trip hoping his overly flamboyant behavior would short circuit the robot's brain.

Sadly it the experiment fails Cuba Gooding Jr. is killed in a graphic scene involving a long lead pipe and several rolls of duct tape. Stallone is asked again to save the future world. In the final scene Stallone cuts off the robot's head and says "Guess you weren't programmed to keep you head on your neck, heh."

3. Oscar
Angelo 'Snaps' Provolone (Stallone) makes a promise to his dying mob boss father that he will leave the world of crime and become an honest businessman. But is the world ready for a mob boss businessman? It's a comedy of criminal proportions!!!!

In the remake Stallone's mother is now at her deathbed and makes him promise to live out her dream to become a Broadway stage actress. Grudgingly Stallone enters the world of the Rockettes with many comedic surprises. In one scene, Stallone is trying to fit his genitalia in his panties and says to a friend "Damn, don't they make this things for men?" Then they both laugh and laugh.
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