West Virgia town defends man accused of beastiality

Submitted by amilh on Sun, 2008-07-27 21:13.

BLUEFIELD, WA - Residents of Bluefield West Virginia (pop. 11,541) have come to the aid of Hobert Gainsfield, a local resident charged with sexual animal abuse with a cow.

Gainsfield was arrested last week when a police officer noticed strange bleeting sounds coming from the Johnson barn. When the officer investigated he found the defendant engaged in what was described as a 'elaborate sexual exhange' with an adult female cow.

Residents of the small town are asking for the release of Hobert on the grounds that the cow needed to be taught a lesson and that Hobert was in fact doing a great service to the entire town. Local farmer Fred Polard commented on the situation, "That cow was askin' for it. She was always rockin' her butt too and frow and lookin' backwards with those big eyes of hers, she was asking for something like this to happen."

District attorney Paul Hedgeford said there was no excsue for Hobert's behavior. "We cannot condone having sex with cows, no matter how seductive their actions. We must live under the rule of law, and that law, right now, says we cannot enjoy the sweet love of a cow's anus."

Most residents have rejected the district attorney's rationale and are planning on conducting a town-wide petition to free the defendant. Local farmer Tom Granger noted, "At least he ain't gay. There's that. And the cow didn't seem to mind all that much, in fact she seems a lot more respectful actually. All of this seems like it ain't amountin' to much of anything. And at least he ain't gay."