best worst

World Cup 2006: First Round Best and Worst

Submitted by wojo on Sun, 2006-06-25 00:07.

Now that the first round is over and the round of 16 has just kicked off, it's time for my "First Round Best-Worst" list. I'm going to put my "Best Team" and prediction for this year's World Cup champ up front. I learned from my mistake of not putting my "no weapons in Iraq" prediction in print.

Best Team: Spain. That's right I said it. Forget Brazil, forget, Argentina, forget "star-studded" England. The team with the best chance to throw my prediction is Germany, a team that is playing great and has the oh-so-vital homefield advantage. However, Spain is unbeaten in their last 25 games. They have great goal scorers and a deep bench. The Wojo has spoken.

Worst Team: Togo. In effect, these guys went on strike, because they wanted 195,000 each for playing in the Cup -- more than a small fortune in a country with an average per capita income of less than $1,000. On the topic, I find it disturbing to see the Ivory Coast and Ghana offering their players relatively huge sums of money for winning matches ($20,000 a match for Ghana) How about a new hospital? Brangelina can't build them all.

Best Overused Cliche: "Tiny Trinidad and Tobago." It was fun to watch their run, to see England resort to hair pulling to beat them (the pony tail of God goal?), but thank God we are done hearing "The tiny nation of Trinidad and Tobago...Tiny Trinidad and Tobago with only 1.1 million people." I swear, everytime they touched the ball we heard this, and just look at the google results.

Worst Call: Penalty on Onyewu (USA). The horrible refereeing has been the story of this World Cup. This is the toughest category to pick a winner, errr, loser. One of the worst was a goal clearly scored by France against S. Korea that didn't count. The Keeper stopped the ball, but only after it had crossed the line. France wins 2-1 instead of a 1-1 draw, but still would've finished second in their group. The T&T v England hair pull changed that game dramatically, but Trinidad lost their next game and were headed home. These calls required the ref getting it right based on his vision, the calls against the US were pure judgement calls, and the judgement was horribly biased and wrong. Yes, Maestroni stupidly committed his foul a good 80 yards from the goal, Pope should've known the game was being called tightly and Bocanegro should've just cleared that ball against Ghana, but these calls were game changers and they all went against the US. It's no surprise that the worst call came against the US, the most hated team in the Cup (the world loves to see us lose). This time it's a German official's judgement screwing an American at Nuremberg -- revenge anyone?

Best Hot Girl: Brazilian Girl. Have you noticed that the camera guys and producers love to pick one hot girl to represent the fans of each side? Sure, there's the obligatory shot of the crazy Croatian's setting off flares in the stands, but all the close ups are the hot girls. Guess they're really trying hard to win that American audience this year. Swedish girls kissing do get an honorable mention and I distinctly remember Ukranian girl (couldn't find her pic on the web), but Brazil girl has caused many a teenage boy to reconsider that purity pledge.

Worst World Cup '06 Ritual: Players walking out holding little kids' hands. What the hell is this all about? For some reason it makes me think of the Different Strokes episode where Arnold and his friend get a bath from the weird old guy who owns the bike shope.

Best World Cup '06 Ritual: Continually showing the hot girl (see above).

Best Team Nickname: Socceroos (Australia). "Black Stars" are a pretty cool name for Ghana, but Australia's "Socceroos" wins hands down.

Worst Nickname: USA. We don't really have one. Hmmm, maybe "Shock and Awe," "Operation World Cup Storm," "Nuclear Boys, " or Bush's favorite "Crusaders."

Worst Place in NYC to Watch US Play: My apartment. I watched the Czech game and the first half of the Ghana game there. Bad news.

Best Place in NYC to Watch US Play: Stout NYC. This place was going crazy for US v Italy. This is where the die-hard fans of the New York Red Bulls, and Team USA hang when they can't make the Game. Kind of like the Sam's Army Reserve.

Worst Historical Reference in a Match: Oh, Tommy Smyth.

Best Post-War Match Up: Poland v Germany (see link above). Where's Dennis Miller when we need him.

Worst Match Up of Enemies that Didn't Happen: Serbia and Montenegro v Croatia. Yikes! USA v Iran gets honorable mention.

Best Cinderella Story: Australia. Okay, Ghana, I know...I know, but the Aussies are where the US was a few years ago, they haven't qualified in ages and the sport just isn't that big there. The difference is the team's success is making huge waves in Australia (unlike Team USA) and that comeback aganist Japan was sweeeet! Oh, and see Best Team Nickname. Plus, Russel Crowe is Cinderella Man. They're my adopted team now that the US is packing.

Worst Looking Player: Jan Koller, as mentioned here.

Best Looking Player: Pavel Nedved, dreamy.

Worst Star Player: Ronaldo. Yes, he scored two goals the other day, but he's still Fat Slow Ronaldo. Reminds me of Shawn Kemp in his Trailblazer years.

Best Star Player: Robinho. Man, he's fun to watch. Just give Ronaldo some empanadas and let Robinho start.

Worst Coach: Bruce Arena (USA). Six words for you, Bruce: Eddie Johnson, Eddie Johnson, Eddie Johnson. Oh, and he should've been playing the Ghana game for four goals, not a 1-0 win and a hope the Italians beat the Czechs. That means a 3-4-3 lineup buddy. Hmmm, but who could be the third forward out there...Eddie Johnson!

Best Coach: Ratomir Dujkovic (Ghana). Notice they have a European coach. Time to send Arena packing.

Best Commentary: Univision. Kind of like falling in love: I don't understand it, but it makes me feel all tingly inside...Or, is that just Brazilian Girl.

Best World Cup Blog: Michael Davies blog for ESPN will make you hate him for being there, but appreciate his beer and sausage induced disasters. Plus, he seems to know a little about soccer.

Worst World Cup Blog: You're reading it!