James Florentein

Okay America let's get real for a minute, and not Real Time Bill Maher real, I mean really real. What is all the commotion about paying for vaginal pleasures? Am I missing something here? I thought America was all about personal freedom? We have the freedom to buy guns, get drunk and or drive, and the God given right to look at boobies at any time of the day.

Why then America can't a healthy American man buy a snatch sandwich after a hard day of work?

If anything we should be encouraging more American prostitution, it might be one of the last things we can corner the market in. What's that you say? Thai girls are 20 years ahead of our prostitutes Shit! See America, you're loosing out on yet another economic battle. 

All I'm saying is that we as Americans can do better. We can make better schools, kick more terrorist ass, and also provide the best top shelf cooter to paying customers. This is the land of the free, not the land of the free, except when it comes to paying for a woman to tie you up and spank your buttocks until you develop small but adorable blisters.

Get your act together America, this is one fight that is actually worth fighting.

I know many (both) of our loyal readers were dismayed by the budget woes and firing of James O'shea at the LA Times, but fear not, Sam Zell has just the right dose of Americana to save the rag.  He recently inspired his OC (yeah, I said it) employees with this stirring defense of allowing strip club ads in the Times, and the Founding Fathers:

Some of my best friends go to gentlemen's clubs. It's unAmerican not to like pussy.

God Bless America!

Noticed by Bitch Ph.D. and from the Washington Post:

New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves -- and to be treated by the health care system -- as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon.

This is ridiculous. I'm so mad I can't see straight.

Nothing like getting the message that you're only worthwhile to society (ie worth taking the best care of) if you're a future incubator of a future man (or of another future incubator).

Also it's great that our federal government would like to get that message out to girls as soon as they're physically able to conceive. Starting at age 11 or 9 or whatever, your greatest worth is your uterus. Don't worry about your brain.

Aaargh.

"Bitch Ph.D.":http://bitchphd.blogspot.com/ is my go-to for all things feminist.

"This post":http://bitchphd.blogspot.com/2006/03/heroine-of-week.html makes me wanna make out with Cecilia Fire Thunder. Here's why:
Abortion is now illegal in South Dakota unless you're a "sodomized virgin,":http://reallyimportantstuff.com/wojo/rape_victims_must_be_sodomized_virgins_for_abortion_ban_exception/03/06/2006 but Cecilia (the President of the Ogalala Sioux) don't play that game. Her land and her people aren't under the jurisdiction of South Dakota, but their land is smack in the middle of the state. So they're going to open a Planned Parenthood clinic. And save the lives of women, including rape victims, incest victims, and women whose pregnancies jeopardize their health. Brava, Cecilia.

If you've got dough, send Cecilia some of it. Skip the lattes for a week -- you'll be saving lives.

Thanks to "Arts and Letters Daily":http://www.aldaily.com for pointing out "this":http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1142722231554&call_pageid=1105528093962&col=1105528093790 article from the Toronto Star.

Evidently if your kid makes her own PB&J at the age of 2 (guilty), she's more likely to grow up and vote liberally.

If your kid is surly and hides behind your legs and whines, he's more likely to grow up and vote conservatively.

I'm not convinced in the study's terms, but I'm totally convinced by the results. Personal instinct confirms it.

I propose we take all the whiny pains-in-the-ass and cloister them until the age of 15, at which point we let them go, having continuously steeped their little brains in correct political viewpoints. Clearly the only way to fix this problem.

Across the globe, people are choosing to have fewer children or none at all. Governments are desperate to halt the trend, but their influence seems to stop at the bedroom door. Are some societies destined to become extinct? Hardly. It’s more likely that conservatives will inherit the Earth. Like it or not, a growing proportion of the next generation will be born into families who believe that father knows best.

"It's a long article,":http://www.foreignpolicy.com/story/cms.php?story_id=3376&print=1 but here's my summary:
-conservatives have more babies than progressive folks (duh)
-those babies grow up to be conservative
-society goes down the toilet

Interesting factoid:

Among states that voted for President George W. Bush in 2004, fertility rates are 12 percent higher than in states that voted for Sen. John Kerry.

Finally:

Advanced societies are growing more patriarchal, whether they like it or not...As governments hand back functions they once appropriated from the family, notably support in old age, people will find that they need more children to insure their golden years, and they will seek to bind their children to them through inculcating traditional religious values akin to the Bible’s injunction to honor thy mother and father.

In the best humor of the day, according to this, societies are evolving to be creationists. Awesome.

"Gale Norton resigns":http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/03/10/norton/index.html

Boy, being President Bush's chief of rolling back 30 years of environmental protections sure must be a tough job. Norton is, I believe, at least the 3rd or 4th such official to resign.

Unfortunately, the ones I've been to are in red. Not my color choice!

create your own visited states map

And here's what may be wrong with me, and expanding on my example, with the whole American population:

And I must say that it's really hard to see that the Bahamas are, in fact red. I've been to 4 whole countries. 1% of the world's countries.

create your own visited countries map

In "this":http://onegoodmove.org/1gm/1gmarchive/002750.html FABULOUS video, Letterman puts up with O'Reilly and his crap for about half of the video, and then starts shooting him down. It's genius. My favorite part is how Letterman puts up with O'Reilly's moronic monologue on the "War on Christmas" and then shoots him down on the war. With the audience's support.

The best quote is at the very end from my new hero Dave: "I'm not smart enough to debate you point to point on this, but I have the feeling that 60% of what you say is crap."