election

Bill Clinton: C'mon, Gina Gershon is too hot for me to sleep with

Submitted by amilh on Tue, 2008-06-03 19:20.

WASHINGTON, D.C - Former President Bill Clinton denied his involvement with actress Gina Gershon, claiming he only slept with unattractive women.

"I want all of the media to take a step back and look at what you're saying. Everyone knows my track record, Jennifer flowers, Monica Lewinsky, oh and my wife Hillary Clinton. I mean look at them, they're not hot. Why would I deviate from such a great history of boning ugly broads? I mean c'mon media this isn't me," Clinton said.

A Vanity Affair article suggests that Clinton's personality had changed since his
2004 heart bypass surgery and said there were reports of Clinton
"seeing a lot of women on the road."

Advisers close to the Clinton campaign also question the validity of the claims. James Carville noted, "I'm used to seein the President with all sorts of scags, hags, and fatties, but hot women just isn't what Bill is into. I'd be willing to bet this is a right wing conspiracy."

Gina Gershon has asked for a retraction from the article, sighting that her acting credentials would be significantly impaired if people though she was ugly enough to be on the Bill Clinton roster.

( categories:

)

Sphere: See Related Blogs and Articles

Armed Youth responsible for Obama South Carolina Victory

Submitted by amilh on Sun, 2008-01-27 22:26.

Barack Obama steamrolled over the competition soundly winning the South Carolina primary. Political analysts examining exit polling have determined young people were very much responsible for the thrashing. The youth however, were not actually voting, they were intimidating voters at gunpoint, with guns.

"They were handing out guns to the kids right outside the Obama headquarters," local resident Francine Dunlop said. "At first I thought it was some joke, but then the kids started to march towards the booth and told all the voters if they didn't vote for Barack they would shoot to kill."

"We've often talked about arming our children to influence the polling stations, but we never actually went through with it!" Republican strategist Chet Avery said. "If we knew it would have actually worked, I would have given all of my cub scouts a glock"