Holy week stuff

Submitted by kp on Fri, 2006-04-14 10:56.

For the last 10 years I've always gone to church on Maundy Thursday. Last night I missed the service because of work so I went kind of late at night, during a full moon, and hung out in the chapel for the vigil. (Episcopal churches strip the altar of all communion stuff, then some churches have an all-night vigil -- representing staying up to pray with Jesus in the garden of G as he asked). Anyway, it's the first time that I've ever done a real DIY church service -- when I got there the chapel had about 15 other people in it, and when I left it was down to about 5.

Fun things first: there was a guy in the front row with a big head cold who kept sniffing, which didn't bother me, and would occasionally say some two-word phrase out loud, which also didn't bother me. My favorite: "Oy Vey". I was momentarily distracted by that to laugh.

2nd fun thing: my eyes were closed most of the time because I meditate better that way, but one of the times they were open a very yummy and friendly and straight-looking guy came into the chapel. I was momentarily distracted by the shock of a hot, seemingly straight, dude, at an Episcopal church for a tiny little ritual. I'm still intrigued. I didn't see if he had a wedding ring on.

Anyway, I was able to get past the distraction and decided to structure meditation in the old "how to pray" way -- Adoration, Thanksgiving, Confession, Intercession, Petition -- ie God is great, thank God, I messed up, pray for others, pray for myself.

It was really good. I don't remember lots of what I meditated on, because I was in the zone, but I did have a sort of epiphany that I wrote down. There's some value to the "in the zone" syntax so this is a direct transcript from my scribbles on a visitor card:

Redemption is easy -- that's why Jesus was so important and is central to redemption. When we've sinned, the only sins are wrong priorities -- loving anything but God (Love) or loving ourselves more than others. For redemption, all we have to do is stop. And get our priorities right. And start existing for Love. That's all there is, it's all we need -- All we have to do is be Love. Love. Love. Love. The thing about love is that it's terrifying. Loving is scary -- no rules, no guarantees, no advance planning, no winning arguments, lots of losing and looking wimpy and changing plans. But it's Love. It's all we have to do.

I do remember at one point having a Beatles tune going through my head.

That was all during the confession part. I started silently but wetly crying during the intercession part. But I made it through. And Easter is Sunday.

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