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Girls Gone Wild Africa not as successful

Submitted by amilh on Sat, 2008-03-29 23:16.

Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis' attempt to branch out his successful franchise to Africa has been so far unsuccessful.

"Our current strategy of promoting hot naked African natives has not resulted in the windfall in sales that we hoped," Jeff Patterson, Marketing Director for Girls Gone Wild Africa noted. "I'm honestly confused why the public has not jumped at the chance to see naked African babes getting wild in their impoverished villages."

Girls Gone Wild Africa features a host of semi naked African women in their native countries. "We took the same winning strategy that made Girls Gone Wild a household name to Africa where we adapted it to a local context." Pamela Heron, VP of Public Relations noted. "For example instead of alcohol and coke to get girls to take their tops off, we used beads and Ritz crackers for the African women. Only God knows why those Africans enjoy Ritz crackers so damn much."

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The UN wants me to have sex in the bathroom

Submitted by amilh on Mon, 2007-12-10 15:03.

I went to the bathroom to check my haircut, which I do every 5-7 minutes, and to my surprise I found a basket of condoms laying on the sink. The UNDP (united nations development program) was kind enough to think about my bathroom sex habits to place contraceptives next to the sink, which is my preferred place of doing girls in the bathroom.

They were also kind enough to place instructions on how to use the condom next to the basket.

1. Check expiration date on package.
I can't tell you how important this is. Penisis as a organ prefer fresh things. My penis in particular has had frequent negative reactions to being rubbed with spoiled milk and overripe turnips.

2. When penis is hard, and before sexual contact, place the rolled up condom against end of the penis and unroll all the way.
Did someone say lifesaver? On at least 7 separate occasions, I've inserted my penis inside then attempted to put on the condom, and women say that removing a bra without taking their shirt is a trick! Another tip, write these instructions on your penis so you don't forget.

3. Immediately after ejaculation, hold the base of the condom tightly and pull out while penis is still hard.