nedved

Czech Soccer's Beauty and the Beast

Submitted by wojo on Tue, 2006-06-13 01:59.

I've been a bit hard on the US guys and the US Soccer system, but in reality, who could stop this guy...
When he's not scaring babies or working on a Guy Ritchie movie, he's frightening defenders with his menacing eyebrows of doom. Koller shaved and sculpted his skull to become a perfect heading machine as the US discovered in the opening minutes.

And who can blame the US side for being mesmerized by the pure Aryan beauty and ball skill that is, Pavel Nedved?
It's no wonder the US midfield and defenders parted like the Red Sea (hmm, lame cliche': "...parted like Paris Hilton's legs"?) every time he carried the ball to his strikers. He might get me to switch teams...if you know what I mean. Nedved says he's retiring from soccer after this; look for him to replace Mischa Barton as Ryan's love interest on next season's The O.C.

Enough looking back. I've played both Winning Eleven 8 and EA's World Cup '06 enough to know the path the victory for Team USA. My extensive research shows that Eddie Johnson should be starting in place of Brian McBride (EJ played pretty well as a sub against the Czechs and even better in my game against Italy on my computer tonight). Also, Bruce Arena should use the unlock code a-b-a-b-a-b-b-a up-down-up-down to create a Superhuman player named Wanker McWanksalot and give him a big afro in the edit mode. Or, just unlock Pele' from legacy mode.